Did Dad Know? - Part lI

 

When my Aunt Mae Clayborn Damron, my Aunt Patty King Rendon, my brother and I met for the first time that July in 2011, one of questions posed later at the cemetery was how my grandparents, Thurston Clayborn and Pansy Hubbell, met.  This was a topic we would ponder for the next seven (7) years of Mae's life when we got together to visit.  

My grandmother would have been 19, and Thurston eight years her senior, or 27. One of the popular theories was that Clarence's wife, Esther likely was the one who introduced them, through a sewing club or some similar organization. Every person associated with that group are gone, so we likely won't ever know the truth.  

As to know what Dad knew and when, it wouldn't have been until my grandmother's funeral in 1985. He went alone, and Mae said she was looking for him, as she wanted to talk to him, but she was so busy she missed him. Mae thinks that Clarence went with him and my Uncle Billy.  So, he may have found out then.  Maybe, maybe not.  

One thing I've wondered is if he did find out, he never told my mother, as she would have told me. She never said anything. One fact that was shared is that my uncle did not want to go to the cemetery and my father insisted that he would be going, as it wasn't optional. The day of my grandmother's funeral was the last day that my dad and his brother were on speaking terms. After that time, he was estranged from the family until the day he died. The reason no doubt was that he didn't inherit any part of the estate of his mother. My dad and aunt agreed that all the money he had borrowed from his mother over the years would be counted toward his share of the estate.  In their eyes, this was only right. And, so it was. 

A final thought, reflecting as an adult on this story, and as a parent myself, as patterns repeat themselves. I know I certainly have, so I have no doubt that he did as well. I wonder if my father thought of his mother and her feelings when she came back home to her father's house pregnant, when I came back home in the same situation. I didn't know my grandmother's story then.  

But, as it's Father's Day today, I am remembering several difficult days during that time, and remembering how kind he was.  It was a time I felt especially close to him and thankful that I had a protector and a home to come to at a time when I needed one. I was blessed.